


Say It Plain

by arie_barie



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bang Yongguk Fluff, Comfort, F/M, FWB, Kpop fanfiction - Freeform, Lemon Tea, NSFW, Protective Bang Yongguk, Rapper Bang Yongguk, Smut, babyz - Freeform, bang, bang yongguk - Freeform, bang yongguk smut, bap - Freeform, boyfriend yongguk, hanging with yongguk, i almost took my lemon and left, reader - Freeform, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-29 12:59:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19400800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arie_barie/pseuds/arie_barie
Summary: You and Yongguk occupy the grey area of FWB. Emotions are complicated and instead of giving in when he asks to date you, you decide to end it all.





	1. Chapter 1

The club was packed music booming bodies moving side to side. It was hot and I was sweating as I moved drink in hand. There was a good dj and he was pumping out all my favorites. Corine took her drink down and leaned into my ear.   
“Five more songs then lets go?” She asked. I bit my lip annoyed. I didn’t wanna go. My phone had been blowing up all night and I knew it was Bang pulling his normal shit.   
“Just turn your phone off.” She snapped. She could see it on my face then, my mind working away on how to avoid giving in.   
“I’m not staying out all night...you can come spend the night at my apartment. I’ll lock the door so you can’t get out.” She said on a laugh. I nodded, “Five more songs and we’ll go.”

We got drunker. I danced laughing as a guy wrapped his hands around my waist to grind against me. Corine took a video cheering me on while I moved with him. Which in hindsight probably wasn’t the best idea because on the ride home I pulled my phone out. There was a whole slew of messages,   
“Hey are you up?”  
“Come over let’s hang.”  
“Why are you ignoring me?”  
“What did I do now?”   
“I just saw Corine’s snapchat you look really good. Come over I wanna see that shirt in person ;)”  
“Who the fuck is that guy you were dancing with?”   
“Hey answer me?”  
“You always do this. You always wanna play games.”  
“Fucking fine...I don’t care what you do!” 

“Corine?” I began. She groaned her head back against the seat of the car, “what?”   
“He’s in one of his moods again.” I stated. She groaned again annoyed because we had this discussion at least a 1,000 times before.   
“What is it about him? I feel like no sex is worth what you guys go through with each other.” She said. I looked out of the window of the car   
“You guys aren’t even together, like for people who are suppose to be just friends with benefits you’re shit at the friends part.” She said.   
“He just gets a little touchy.” I said. She put her hand on my shoulder, “gotta give Bang Yongguk up. Please for me. We have this discussion every time we drink and I literally cannot do it anymore.” She said. I leaned over and put my head on her shoulder, “but you love drama.” I chimed. She shook her head hard, “I like new drama. You guys have been rehashing this same fight for too long.”   
I stayed firm and went to her apartment instead of going to my own.   
“Please turn your phone off.” She told me as I took my clothes off to climb into her bed.   
“I think he’s giving me the silent treatment.” I told her. She fixed me with a look and shook her head, “he’s gonna pop up at your place and be furious that you aren’t there and then the phone calls will come.” She said, “I know this cycle better than you...that’s crazy.” She said. I didn’t argue. How could I she was completely correct. I just got into bed and decided to think about it in the morning.

It started with me coming on to him randomly.   
“Has anyone ever told you how sexy your hands are?” I asked when I stood next to him in the elevator to our building. He glanced at me and then looked down at his hands holding the stack of books. He seemed completely confused and his eyebrows scrunched up.   
“No, I think you’re the first person to mention it.” He said to me with a little smirk on his face. His hair was soft and falling in his face. I shrugged and went back to my phone.   
“You live in this building right?” He asked. I nodded, “yeah, I just moved in actually.” I shared.   
“I’m Yongguk,” He balanced his books in one hand and extended the other to shake mine.   
“_______.” I pronounced. He blinked at me confused. “Yeah I know, my Mom had a whole slew of weird names to saddle me with and my dad managed to talk her down to ______.” I explained.   
“Does anyone ever call you Foxy?” He asked and his smile changed a bit. The elevator dinged at my floor and I got off, “sometimes.” I told him as I got off. It was impossible to avoid him. I knew his type. Nice to look at but definitely way to much work to date. Especially since I had just gotten out of a serious relationship. We flirted back and forth harmlessly and sometimes not so harmlessly. Until one day he leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I think you should come to my place...I’ve been having this recurring dream about us and my kitchen table.”   
I looked up at him and leaned away feigning innocence.   
“You wanna cook me dinner?” I asked. He hovered close to me his tall body causing me to press my back against the elevator wall.   
“After…” He whispered. I tilted my head up, “after what?” I asked. I touched his arm and he cocked his eyebrow at me.   
“After I fuck you on it.” He stated bluntly. And I could have said no. I could have rolled my eyes and walked around him and gone home. But of course I didn’t. Of course I let him wrap his hand around mine and lead me out. Afterword when both of us were lying breathless and sweaty that’s when I figured I had probably made a mistake. 

“Your phone is ringing.” Corine was pushing me awake. I ignored her and tried to keep my eyes closed.   
“Your phone! I told you to turn it off!” She yelled.   
“Corine.” I said her name flatly.   
“Get the hell up and get out he’s gonna come over here.” She pushed me harder until I finally hauled myself up. My phone vibrated off the side table and hit the floor.   
“Shit.” I bent to retrieve it and put my hand on my head. I used Corine’s shower to try and wash the pain in my head away. I ignored my phone the entire time.   
“I’m going.” I told her as I rubbed the towel through my wet hair.   
“Ok, call me later to cry about him.” She grumbled. I rolled my eyes. I scrolled through my messages as I walked back to my building. Corine lived close to me six blocks and I was walking through the lobby of my building. Yongguk had worked himself into a huge frenzy. I rolled my eyes and decided that I wouldn’t listen to any of his voicemails. Maybe Corine was right. Maybe our fling had run its course. I was exhausted thinking about it. I stopped at the elevator bank and pushed the button, praying that he had already left for the day. My phone rang again I stared at it before I answered.   
“Hello,” I began. The silence stretched and then his voice, “finally.”   
“What is it?” I asked. The elevator dinged and I stepped on.   
“Are you just getting home?” He asked alarmed. I rolled my eyes, “you don’t own me you know.” I said softly.   
“Did you fuck that guy?” He asked. The elevator doors closed and I groaned, “please don’t do this.”   
“I’m just curious.” He stated.   
“What if I did?” I asked. My phone cut in and out. I could hear him on the other side but I couldn’t understand him. I hung up and focused on getting to my apartment. I wanted to be out of last night's clothes. I stepped off thankful that my apartment was 3 steps from the elevator.   
“You really are doing the walk of shame?”   
I turned my heart thundering in my chest. There he was towering over me per usual with his dark hair falling into his face.   
“Can I take a nap and then we do this?” I asked hopefully. He raised his eyebrow at me, “up all night?” He asked. He took a step towards me and leaned down. I put my hands behind my back trying to summon up all my energy to resist him.   
“Why didn’t you text me back?” He asked. I shrugged, “I didn’t feel like coming over.” I lied.   
“You could have told me.” He whispered, “instead of ignoring me.” He said. He took my chin in his hand possessively, “tell me, I’m really tired of asking you...did you fuck that guy or not?” He asked. I bit my bottom lip my hands carefully turning the knob on my door. I felt it turn.   
“Which guy?” I asked. His eyes opened wide. I got my door open and I stepped into my apartment. Before he could say anything else I slammed it in his face. I was too tired to do our back and forth.   
“I wanna take a nap Bang...we can do this after.” I said into my door. He made a frustrated noise. But he didn’t argue. I was proud of myself, if he had kissed me in the hallway I would have been lost. I stripped my clothes off and headed straight for my bed. The little headache I had was developing into a big headache. I crawled into my bed and closed my eyes. 

I didn’t hate Yongguk I just hated that I always found myself thinking about him all the time. He was beginning to occupy too much of my mind. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed. How could one person be so annoying?

I couldn’t sleep the whole day away. I managed to get a few good hours in before I turned over rubbing my hand over my eyes. It was raining outside. I stared up at my window and sighed. I had to get this over with. I pulled on an old grey holy sweatshirt and grabbed a lemon. My phone in my hand I rode the elevator up my heart hammering. When I got to his floor I stepped off and walked down the hallway to his door. I smiled softly to myself as I remembered the times we had stumbled down the hallway loud and drunk. His hands on my waist tracing sloppy kisses on my neck.   
I got to his door and knocked. I probably looked a mess but I was set in what I wanted to say and I didn’t have to look pretty to say it.   
“Who is it?” He asked.   
“It’s me. Are you decent or are you busy with someone?” I asked. I didn’t want to put it past him. He had every right to see whoever he wanted. There was a pause and then his door opened.   
“Did you enjoy your nap?” He asked.   
“Yeah.” I said I held up the lemon, “it’s raining, let’s have tea?” I asked. He stared at the lemon then at me. It looked like maybe he would turn me down and I almost took my lemon and left. But he opened the door wider and I walked in. His apartment was the exact same layout as mine. I walked right up to the kitchen and placed the lemon on the counter. He followed me and I could feel him ready to pounce. But he behaved himself. He got his tea kettle and two mugs out. I sliced the lemon in half and squeezed the juice into each cup. I put my half in my mug and looked at him asking his permission. He nodded and I did the same with his half.   
“So…” I began on a sigh. I felt him standing behind me. He was careful as he wrapped his arms around my waist.   
“So?” He echoed.   
“I wanna talk to you about something.” I started. He went rigid behind me. But I wasn’t going to let his temper distract me and I wasn’t going to let my own temper get the better of me.   
“I don’t think we’re good for each other.” I blurted. He didn’t say anything so I kept on, “all we do is argue and yell at each other...and for what?” I asked. He didn’t give me an answer.   
“Literally any guy you see near me turns into a huge thing...and you don’t have any right.” I said.   
“You never get jealous when I post other girls?” He asked. It was my turn to go silent. I did. He didn’t do it often but every once in awhile he would post a pic or a snapchat of some girl fawning all over him. The jealousy would flare but then I reminded myself that we weren’t really anything to each other and I had no right to have some sort of fit about it.   
“Answer me.” He pushed, “you never get jealous?”   
“If I do, I don’t have a huge fucking fit about it like you do.” I said. He held me tighter and kissed my neck.   
“I wish you would.” He whispered.   
“You wish I would have a fit over you?” I asked astonished. I pulled away and turned around to face him. His face was oddly sad. He stared at me his eyes studying all of me bit by bit. He stepped forward cornering me on the counter. He casually reached over and turned off the burner on the stove. I sighed, “Bang,” I began.   
“We can have tea after.” He stated.   
“After?” I echo. He put his hands on my waist again. “Up.” He instructed. I hoped up and he set me on the counter so we were eye to eye.   
“In my opinion,” he said as he pushed the collar of my sweatshirt so he could kiss my exposed shoulder. “I think we’re very good for each other. I think the title you gave us is causing the problem.” He very gently moved between my legs, opening them wider on the countertop.   
“Friends with benefits?” He stated with distaste. He ran a hand underneath my sweatshirt. My skin instantly heated at his touch. He palmed my right breast and I shuddered.   
“I get the way I get because I don’t want to think about other guys doing this to you.” He kissed me pushing his plush lips against mine gently at first. I leaned into him despite myself. This was exactly what I didn’t want to happen. Once we got started I would lose all my train of thought. He pulled away.   
“But it’s ok for other girls to touch you?” I asked my voice weak. He cocked his head his eyebrows pulling together in confusion.   
“You’re the only one who touches me like this.” He said. I turned my head away, “don’t lie.”   
He caught my chin and forced me to look at him, “I’m not lying. You’re the only one who touches me like this.” He repeats. I raise my hands to cradle his face and he lets me go. I lean down and brush my lips against his gently at first once then twice. I can feel his impatience and truthfully I’m impatient too. I kissed harder my teeth catching his bottom lip and causing him to open his mouth with a groan. I angled my head my tongue running against his as our breathing became more labored. He pulled away to kiss my neck. He bit me right in my favorite spot and I arched into him. His hands tugged at my sweatshirt. I helped him pull it off. My rational mind was trying to make one more stand. Even as he touched me it pushed itself to the forefront and I pulled away from him. He stared at me his breaths coming hard his face cautious.   
“What’s wrong?” He asked. I couldn’t look at him. I needed to get what I had to say out or we would just be trapped in our usual cycle.   
“Listen this isn’t a good idea.” I took a huge breath feeling his fingers feather light on my thighs.   
“I came here to end this thing that we have.” I pushed. His fingers stopped. I looked at his face afraid of what I would see there. His features looked frozen over. He had locked his emotions away before I could catch them.   
“What is it about me?” He asked coldly. I reached for my sweatshirt and he carefully took it in his hands.   
“It’s not you...it’s just…”   
“I’m not the kind of guy you date? I’m just the kind you screw right?” He asked. I was at a loss...I couldn’t tell him that I was terrified of another broken heart. That I didn’t have it in me to pick myself up again. I wouldn’t survive it. And I knew myself well enough to know that with him it would be a thousand times worse. It wasn’t just the physical connection. It was everything about him if I didn’t start now I would drown in him an I couldn’t do that all over again. I looked at his hands twisted in my sweatshirt.   
“I’m sorry I’m such a bitch.” I whispered, “I just don’t have it in me.” I said softly. I pushed myself from the counter and took my sweatshirt. I pulled it back on while he watched me eyes cold. This was it. I was doing what I had set out to do. I was cutting ties making everything easier for both of us. He didn’t say anything to me just watched me walk out no goodbye no nothing and I thought maybe that was for the better. 

“So has he called you at all?” Corine asked quietly. I had been counting the days. It had been almost a month. In an effort to be less of an asshole I had been doing my absolute best to avoid Yongguk. Me and the stairwell were becoming best friends. I stayed away from our buildings gym and laundry room...and I missed him like crazy.   
“He hasn’t.” I stated.   
“And you haven’t called him?” She asked. I shook my head, “I deleted his number.” I whispered.   
“Oh.” She whispered.   
“It’s better for me. As much as he was a jerk...I wasn’t an angel either. I...there’s some things wrong with me too Corine.” I said. She looked at me tea cup in hand. For a while she didn’t say anything and when she did she took my hand.   
“I think you tried to power on like TJ didn’t hurt at all. I mean yeah you cried but you compressed a 3 year relationship into one weekend of crying and then you were this forced version of yourself.” She said. I rubbed my face a little annoyed.   
“You could have said this sooner.” I blurted out.   
“Please don’t. You know you hated it whenever I asked if you were ok. You always flipped out.” She said. “I love you but you don’t listen...you set your mind about something and that’s it.” She told me.   
“I know.” I said.   
“Can I ask you something?” She began.   
“What?”   
“Why didn’t you just date Bang?” She asked bluntly. “I feel like that was the whole problem with you two. He wanted to date you obviously but you purposely kept him away.” She pointed out.   
“You’re supposed to be my friend, you’re always suppose to take my side.” I whined. “I didn’t wanna go straight from one relationship to another.” I said.   
“Then you shouldn’t have had sex with him in the first place. You got greedy.” She pushed.   
“Holy shit...you’re being incredibly supportive today.” I said sharply. She shrugged, “It’s called tough love.” She pushed.   
“Well thanks I guess.” I mumbled. She rubbed my hand but I needed a moment before I could look at her. She was right of course. I couldn’t be mad at her. I just wish I wasn’t so obvious.   
“You’re not gonna pout at me all night right?” She asked. I shook my head. “Cause you have to look like you’re having fun tonight.” She added.   
“Yeah I know.” I said. Corine had a work event to attend at a very swanky club. I was her plus one and she had been looking forward to it for weeks now. We had gone dress shopping and I had nearly lost my mind trying to pick something I liked. Thankfully Corine could be incredibly patient when she put her mind to it. Store after store she had encouraged me until I found a black dress that I liked. The back was plunging and had a fancy chain detail that made it interesting enough to wear. Instead of straightening my hair like I usually did for going out Corine had convinced me to leave it curly and pin it back.   
“So I’ll get dressed here since you’re closer to the venue….” She began and my mind slowly tuned out. I nodded while I stared down at my hands. Getting dressed up had been exciting weeks ago but the more I thought of it the more I dreaded it.   
“________?”  
She called my name and I looked up with a bright smile on my face.   
“You’re sure you’re ok right?” She asked, “I mean not completely ok but you’re gonna be alright tonight?” She asked again.   
“I’m gonna be fine don’t worry about me. I’m just trying to remember where I put the necklace I wanna wear.” I lied. She accepted this with a pat on my hands. I pulled them back, “don’t pat me like that, you’re acting like my mom.” I joked.   
“I give advice like your mom too.” She added.   
“You don’t get as mad when I don’t take it.” I said.   
“Oh I get mad, but there’s nothing else to do.” She said as she stood up to take our cups to the kitchen. “You’ve got the hardest head of anyone I know.” 

Yongguk had taken me to a club once or twice before. I wanted to stay away from anything that could be considered a date but he had convinced me. He liked the tease of dancing of putting his hands on me in full view of everyone else. His favorite was whispering in my ear while we danced.   
“When we get home will you be good or bad for me?” He asked me once. I had turned in his arms and whispered, “what if I was good tonight?” I asked. I was curious because up until then he liked us to be on the rougher side. He had gazed at me and his eyes actually looked soft. His mouth had curled into a smile that was so adoring it scared me. He kissed me and said, “If you’re good I’ll treat you like a princess.” He said against my lips. 

“________!”   
I looked up to Corine’s annoyed face. I sighed trying to blink the memory away.   
“What do you want to drink?” She repeated. One of her male coworkers was hovering around her elbow waiting.   
“Just my usual.” I said with a small smile. She turned to him leaning up to speak in his ear over the booming music. He nodded and disappeared back into the crowd. I had met him before but I couldn’t remember anyone’s name at the moment.   
“You spaced completely out.” She said to me.   
“Once I start drinking I’ll be more fun I promise.” I told her. She pushed me lightly, “don’t say shit like that. You’re making me think you really have a problem.” She said on a laugh. I stood up straight and smoothed my hands over my dress, “you gonna stage an intervention?” I asked. She shook her head and looked over at the dance floor. The music was loud causing us to have to shout at each other. The venue was filled with everyone who worked at Corine's company. No one was left out, not even the janitor who had gotten his wife all dressed up. The two were trying their best on the dance floor much to everyone’s delight.   
“Wow look at them go.” I pointed out. Corine followed my eyes and put her hand to her mouth. I didn’t catch what she said but she started to laugh and clap her hands to the beat.   
“Who would have thought Mr. Lauren could move like that!” She yelled.   
“Not me.” I agreed. The night actually got significantly better from there. Through force of will I didn’t think about Yongguk. Instead I drank and laughed with Corine’s coworkers. They were a good bunch of people. Her company kept the bar open which meant I had an unlimited supply of vodka and cranberry. Mark happened to be the male coworker who had gotten our drinks at the beginning of the night. He stuck to me like glue but I tried not to pay any extra attention to him. I didn’t want to lead him on or encourage him in anyway. I seemed to be unlucky with guys. Maybe Corine had been right when she said that I was being greedy. The night dragged on I drank more until I finally got tired enough to call it a night. I pulled Corine to the side and started to shout at her about my leaving. The music was still so loud.   
“You’re going already!” She asked.   
“I’m old and tired.” I said to her. We both laughed loudly. She looked over at her coworker Mark who had followed me around all night.   
“Mark thinks you’re really pretty. He’s been bugging me about you since you came to lunch at my office that one day.” She shared. I shook my head, “Corine make up your mind...either you want me to date Bang or you want to shove your coworker at me?” I asked. She shrugged, “I just want you to not be sad.” She shared. I pulled away from her.   
“Don’t start.” I warned her. She covered her mouth to keep from laughing and said, “fine, go home. Text me when you get there.” I nodded.   
On my way out Mark stopped me.   
“Do you wanna share a cab?” He asked, “we could have a nightcap at my place?” He suggested.   
I didn’t have the energy to be polite when I turned him down.   
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I said bluntly. He held up his hands in a sign of defeat but his pleasant smile didn’t move.   
“Maybe another time then.” He said.   
“Maybe.” I granted. “Have a good night.” He said. 

In the cab the good time I had feeling began to leak out of me. I looked at the city passing by outside the window and wished that I could be by myself without feeling so...sad. I rubbed my eyes smearing my mascara accidentally. Other people could be alone without needing someone but apparently I wasn’t capable of that. I thought about Yongguk. About the way he smiled at me, at the dumb way he always liked to say my name. I looked down at my hand and imagined him holding it.   
“Is this the building miss?” I looked up glad to be home. I got out from the cab but of course I caught my foot on the curb and fell.   
“Shit.” I muttered. The concerte dug into my knee and as I stood up I could see I was bleeding.   
“You ok?” The cab driver asked.   
“Yeah I’m fine.” I assured him. I took my shoes off and hobbled my way into my building. My knee stung. I couldn’t wait to be home. In the elevator I closed my eyes and sighed. This late in the night I didn’t have to worry about anyone else getting on. I wanted to go to sleep. My head was beginning to pound. The elevator dinged and I opened my eyes. He was standing in front of my door. I blinked trying to decide whether I should get off or not. He heard the elevator and looked over at me.   
“_________?” He looked at me closely while I limped off. He was almost immediately in front of me.   
“What the fuck happened to you?” He asked sharply. He looked down at my knee, “did you get into a fight?” He asked. I pushed my hand over my face. I wanted to hide how happy I was to see him. I felt tears pricking at my eyes.   
“_______?” He called my name again touching my arm has he said it.   
“Why are you here?” I asked. My voice was shaky.   
“You first. What happened to you?” He asked. I took a huge shuddering breath.   
“I fell on the curb outside.” I explained. “And I smeared my makeup in the cab.” I said. I looked up at him and added, “and I really really missed your stupid face.” Instead of smiling down at me his face hardened.   
“You’re drunk aren’t you?” He asked. He took a step back and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck.   
“You only smile like that when you’re drunk.” He whispered. I rubbed harder at my face, “I’m buzzed, I left before I got really drunk.” I took a huge breath, “why are you here? I...I’ve been trying so hard.” I said to him.   
“Trying hard to what?” He asked. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head, “why did you come here?” I asked again.   
“I came to beg.” He said clearly.  
“What?” I asked. He rubbed his face and made a frustrated noise, “I can’t sleep.” He said to me. I waited not sure what to say.   
“I sleep best when I can hold you.” He blurted out. “And I’ve tried to not be an asshole and pressure you about this but I miss you too much. So I came to...beg. If you want to do the friends with benefits thing again fine I’ll bite the bullet and do that...I just want to be able to hold you.” He said. The silence stretched and I was trying to keep myself from just collapsing into tears. He watched me the hardness very slowly leaking out of his face.   
“Do you want tea?” I asked flatly because that was all that came into my head. 

He made me sit while he made the tea for me. I put a bandaid on my knee under his watchful eye.   
“Did you really fall?” He asked quietly.   
“Yeah I got out of the cab and ate shit.” I said. He snorted but didn’t say anything else.   
“You’ve been trying hard to avoid me huh?” He asked. I nodded, “I don’t have to go to the gym anymore cause I’ve been taking the stairs so much.” I shared.   
“You could have ridden the elevator I wouldn’t have said anything to you.” He said.   
“It wasn’t that I was afraid of you.” I said turning to face him, “I was more afraid of how I would react I think.” I said. The kettle went off. He turned the burner off and carefully sliced a lemon. He squeezed juice in each cup and put my half in my mug. When he brought me my cup I took it and began to blow.   
“You missed me too?” He asked quietly. I didn’t look at him just nodded my head. He said nothing else. We sat next to each other at my table quietly sipping tea. The cup was comforting in my hands, having Yongguk back in my apartment was even more relaxing.   
“Can I ask you why you don’t want to just date like normal people do?” He asked. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. When I opened my eyes again I looked at him.   
“Before I moved here I lived with someone who I was completely in love with.” I said softly. The sentence made my chest hurt. I swallowed, determined to stop myself from tearing up.   
“Then one Monday I woke up next to him same as always and he looked at me and said, ‘this isn’t gonna work anymore.’ And I…” I took another shuddering breath, “I asked him was it someone else? Was it something I did wrong? And all he could tell me was, ‘I loved you but now the feeling isn’t the same. It’s just not there.’ “   
Yongguk sat very still watching me while I tried to gather myself. That whole day had felt like a hollow nightmare. The pain in my chest felt like it was happening to someone else. The entire time he had just stared at me blankly like I wasn’t his anymore. I felt like I was looking at a stranger.   
“When I left I decided that I couldn’t get myself that wrapped up in a relationship ever again. I sort of molded myself to this idea that I wasn’t going to give anyone to chance to fall out of love with me again.” I said. Yongguk blinked at me and very carefully placed his cup down. He took a large breath.   
“________, you can’t let this one guy rule your whole life.” He said.  
“He isn’t.” I said to him.   
“If him breaking up with you caused you to change something about yourself for the worse then yeah, he’s still ruling over you.” He explained.   
“Being cautious is not necessarily a change for the worse.” I countered. He rolled his eyes. But the look on his face was softer. I could feel he didn’t want to argue. I looked down at my table and tried not to think too hard about TJ. I was suddenly so tired.   
“I’m sleepy.” I whispered, “can we go to bed?” I asked. I heard the chair being pushed back. He took my arm and hauled me up. I followed after him on wobbly legs down my own hallway. In my bedroom he was quick to pull his shirt over his head and drop his pants to the floor. He took his time and was careful with the zipper on the back of my dress.   
“You look beautiful by the way.” He said. I stepped out of the dress and crawled onto my bed with a deep sigh.   
“Thanks, Corine made me go with her to a work event.” I explained. I got under the covers and watched him. He got in next to me. His arms wrapped around me and he put his face into the crook of my neck.   
“Did you have fun before you ate shit on the curb?” He asked with a low chuckle. I yawned again but managed to say yes. I could feel his breathing slowing down already. He settled against me.   
“I really missed you.” I whispered as my eyes started to close.   
“Me too, I’ll show you just how much after…” He trailed off.   
“After?” I asked.   
“After I get at least two hours of sleep…” 

I slept like a baby next to Yongguk. His warmth was comforting and I had to admit that I had missed the feeling of his arms around me. I felt the light of the sun on my face and shifted.   
“You left the blinds open.” I complained as I tucked myself closer to his body. I felt him chuckle, “you really are hard to please…” he said holding me tighter. I tried to sink back into sleep but I was acutely aware of him moving. He trailed his arms down my body slowly then back up.   
“Do you want me to make you breakfast.” He asked. When I opened my eyes to look up at him he was looking down at me carefully.   
“Who says I wanna eat breakfast with you?” I said with a small smirk. He rolled his eyes and sighed.   
“Why do you always have to give me so much lip?” He asked. I shrugged.   
“Since we’ve argued and made up…” He trailed off as he leaned his head down to kiss me. I wanted to lean back. But I had missed him too much. I opened for him and he ran his tongue along mine sighing into me. I squirmed a bit against him and I felt him smile.   
“Who says we’ve made up?” I asked with much less attitude than I had originally intended. My arms were snaking around his neck. He pulled away to look at me. His face was less teasing as he gazed at me.   
“______.” He pronounced my name so carefully. I bit my bottom lip, “Can I have a straight answer?” He asked softly. My eyes dipped to his lips and I nodded.   
“Ask me.” I breathed while my fingers felt along the skin of his neck.   
“Can we be a couple?” He asked me. He kissed me again along my jaw adding, “I promise to be the best boyfriend I can be.”   
My heart was hammering. Why did he have to ask me so soon? Why couldn’t he have waited until after I had fully woken up? Or after we were out of breath and sweaty? I swallowed focusing on the question and not the path he was kissing to my neck.   
“I just wanna be the only one who holds you like this...please?” He asked as he nipped and sucked a hickey into my neck. I leaned my head up giving him more access. He continued slowly kissing and nibbling at my skin. Hitting all the points that made my toes curl. He stopped raising his head to look at me. I traced my thumb along his cheekbone.   
“I’m scared.” I whispered finally letting the truth slipped out. He nodded his eyes never leaving my face. He thought carefully of his next sentence. I could see him considering what to say quietly.  
“Me too. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.” He confessed I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes again my mind was made up.   
“The best boyfriend you can be...I’m gonna hold you to that.” I said.


	2. Say It Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rainy days with Yongguk are the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAUTION: there is smut in this chapter. Just so you're aware. Just skip the beginning lol.

I rolled over and groaned. It was early. My alarm hadn’t gone off and I clawed at my side table for my phone. I could hear rain against my window and my mind began to list reasons why I shouldn’t haul myself up to work. Rainy days were made for sleep. My hand finally landed on my phone. I opened it eyes stinging from the sudden light. I turned off my alarm before it could sound. Then I went through my contacts. Bang was at the top of my list. I put the phone on speaker and listened to the ring.   
“Hey Foxy.” He answered on the second ring. I smiled and put my hand over my face. Nearly 2 months in and he still made me smile bright like a dork.   
“Bang it’s raining.” I whined. He sighed, “I know.” I could hear background noise and figured he was at work.   
“Come cuddle me.” I said softly, “I’m gonna work from home today.” I told him. The background noise started to fade. I could hear him walking opening and closing doors. He sighed softly.   
“I wanna wrap this whole thing up completely before I leave…” He said. I curled into the fetal position on my bed. The rain started to hit my window harder, “you’ll come over after?” I asked quietly. He chuckled and I could feel him nodding, “I’ll come over after.” He said.   
“Do your work now though cause I’ve been here all night and I’m gonna be sleepy.” He warned. I pouted.   
“Fine.” 

I pulled my laptop out in bed and typed at the two proposals that I was in charge of. Bang Yongguk had convinced me all those 2 months ago to date him and the fear I had was beaten back by happiness. Every so often I felt uncertain. It was like a pit in my stomach that would open and threaten to swallow me whole. When the hole opened up sometimes it felt like I couldn’t escape. Like I was going to be trapped in the cycle all over again. My mind would jump and whisper, “he’s gonna say he doesn’t love you anymore. Just like before. Just like with Tj.”   
Sometimes I think he knows what I’m thinking. Because when I feel it he tucks his head into the crook of my neck and just holds me close. I smiled thinking about him as I typed. I did manage to get out of bed. To make tea and toast for myself. I lingered in my kitchen looking out my window at the rain. Everything was grey. I sipped my tea and tried to focus on the work I had to do. It was easy to daydream. I closed my eyes and imagined the trip that he said we would go on. He wanted to take me to a little beach town for a week to just relax. I pictured us on the beach watching sunsets in the sand.  
Bang in swim trunks his tattoos all on display. Probably holding a beer, definitely smiling at me brighter than the sun. It would all be picturesque and I wouldn’t have to think about anything but how happy I am. It was all hugely romantic in my mind. Maybe a little too sugary sweet. I giggled and decided maybe I would buy some new lingerie for the trip. He liked when I wrapped myself up in something nice and teasing. I would find something sexy and red. Once my tea was done I went back to bed and got a lot more work done. I ket glancing at my phone noting the time. A text came through from him, “leaving now.” 

“__________?”   
He called my name as he came through my door. We had given each other keys a while ago. It only made sense.  
“I’m in here.” I called back to him. I could hear him groaning as he took his jacket off and the telltale plop of his shoes. When he walked into my bedroom his hands were working on pulling his shirt over his head. His body was like a painting. The tattoos were intricate and I loved studying them. Tracing the lines with my eyes until I could trace them with my hands.   
“How was work?” I asked as I watched him work the shirt off. He shrugged and dropped his shirt in a heap. I frowned,   
“I have hangers...hang your shirt up.” I scolded. He rolled his eyes. “It’ll be fine for a few hours. It’s a T-shirt for god’s sake.” He pulled his pants off and climbed into bed next to me with a satisfied moan. I was laying with my feet to the headboard on my stomach. I only had a few more lines to get through before I sent my proposals in. He ran one of his hands up and down my calf.   
“Are you hungry?” I asked my eyes scanning the screen.   
“No.” He said softly. He rolled over and ran his hand higher up my leg. “Are you almost done?” He asked. I felt his fingers run lightly up the curve of my thigh.   
“Yeah almost.” I answered.   
“Cause I was really looking forward to that cuddle.” He said softly. I turned to look at him. He was smiling lazily his eyes centered on my skin. He looked completely content. I turned back to my screen and decided that what I had down was good enough to send. I sent it, closed my laptop, and turned myself around so I could lie next to him.  
“How tired are you?” I asked before I kissed him. I was rested enough to want more than a cuddle. He usually brought it out of me without much effort. The warmth of his body radiated through my skin. His hands traced my waite. He chuckled as I nipped at his bottom lip.  
“Pretty tired...but I could rally.” He admitted. I pulled away and pouted at him.   
“Tell me, did you have a really rough day?” I asked. I kissed his neck running my tongue down his skin before biting down playfully. He sucked in a breath.  
“I can’t get the song to sound the way I want it too.” He said on a rushed breath. I tsked kissing him deeply, running my tongue along his before I pulled away to look at him.   
“I’m sorry,” I pushed gently until he laid on his back then I straddled his waist. He watched me with hooded eyes as I slid my tongue along one of his nipples. He licked his lips and brushed my hair out of my face.   
“You want your good girl to make you feel better?” I asked. I sat up slowly grinding down against his hardening length. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth. I ran my hands up my body giving him a show. I cupped my breasts and sighed pulling one strap down then the other. It was easy to be naked in front of Bang. His eyes devoured me, making me hotter. His hands gripped my thighs as I pulled my bra free. He exhaled his lips curving up as he gazed at my hard nipples. He reached up toying with my right nipple. He was definitely a breast man. He loved to play with them, and licked his lips as I worked my hips. I closed my eyes pushed my chest into his hand, my hips kept circling against him.   
“Tell me what can I do for you?” I asked. He pulled on the opposite nipple and soaked up the sound of my moan.   
“I wanna watch you.” He finally said. His hand trailed up my neck. He rubbed his fingers back than forth on my lips until I opened my mouth and sucked them in.   
“I wanna watch you rub yourself till you cum…” He said slowly. He took a moment to sit up and prop the headboard with pillows. Once he was done he leaned forward and kissed me drawing me closer and running his lips along my jaw.   
“Can you do that for me?” He asked. He licked my ear and then bit down on the lobe. I nodded, “if that’s what you want…” I trailed off leaning back from his grip and positioning myself on his lap. I slipped my undies down and tossed them to the floor. My thighs spread wide I reached down and spread myself for him. He was riveted eyes focused solely on me.   
“Such a good girl…” He whispered. I nodded and rubbed teasing circles around my clit. My breath shuddered out of my chest as I watched him watch me. I dipped my fingers into my pooling wetness and rubbed tighter circles my hips bucking at the renewed contact.   
“Does it feel good?” He asked. His fingers traced up my leg, “does it turn you on to have me watch you like this?”   
“Yes.” I breathed. I basked in the tingle my body was feeding me. I stopped rubbing to give myself a few wet slaps directly on my sex. Just like he would do. I bit my bottom lip whimpering.   
“Shit, my good girl likes to be dirty…” He groaned. I nodded. I looked up at him, “open your mouth Bang?” I pleaded. He did as I asked parting his plush lips. I extended my hand and he sucked on my fingers like a man starved. His eyes sliding closed as he tasted me and moaned. He rolled his tongue around my digits until they were good and coated. I pulled my hand away and teased my aching center.   
“Go on…” He urged. I pushed two fingers into myself and moaned. I tipped my head back and started finger myself at a fast pace. My whimpers and the obscene sound of my pussy filled the room. Distantly I felt his hands brushing up and down my legs. I was lost my body completely throwing out the idea of putting on a good show. I needed to cum, I chased the high that seemed just a few thrusts away.   
“Is this what you look like when you miss me? When I’m not around is this how you fuck yourself?” He asked. I could barely answer my mind drowning in pleasure. I slowed my hand and rocked myself forward on my fingers. I dragged my head back to look at him my expression was probably hazy with lust. I rocked fast on my hand turned on by the feeling of my slick trailing down my skin. He was watching me make such a mess and it was incredibly hot.   
“Look at you making a mess…” He couldn’t help himself. He trailed his hand up my inner thigh and pinched the soft skin.   
“Fuck, Bang!” I shouted and he soothed the skin with his hand.   
“Go ahead and add another finger...I know you can take three in that tight pussy.” He whispered. He waited and when I was too slow he pinched my tender skin again. I bit my bottom lip nearly coming undone. I added another finger holding his eyes with mine.   
“Good girl...stretch it out get it ready for me.” He said encouraging me. I moaned hanging onto every word. He moved his hands from my inner thigh to up my waist. He palmed my breast playing with my nipple, pinching and pulling.   
“Harder…” I got out my voice shaky. He smirked, “such a dirty girl...you like it when it hurts?” He asked. I nodded, my teeth digging into my bottom lip.   
“Tell me.” He commanded.   
“You know I like it when you hurt me good.” I got out. He pinched me harder and I tightened around my fingers. I rocked harder legs trembling. He licked his lips, “my good girl is close huh?” He asked.   
“Yes so close.” I whined. He tugged hard on my nipple and I jerked at the pain.   
“Go ahead and come baby so I can fuck you numb…” He whispered. My eyes rolled back and my body shuddered. He pulled my hand away and my body jolted through my orgasmn clenching on nothing. The feeling wasn’t as satisfying and I knew he enjoyed my sound of pained frustration. He pushed me down into the bed and licked my sensitive mound. I whined helpless under his strong grip.   
“Mmmmm don’t worry I’m gonna fill you up real good.” He told me. I struggled against his hold, the spasms still rocking my body. Bang had a thing for sex while I was overly sensitive. He sucked my clit and I tried again to scramble away.   
“Is my good girl trying to get away?” He asked.   
“No…” I cried as he dipped his head and sucked me harder. He licked up my slit then raised his body to settle between my thighs.   
“Remember you asked me for this right?” He clarified. I peeled my eyes open to look at him.   
“Yes,” I murmured. He kissed me linning himself up with my entrance. He had a tight grip on my thighs. He raised his eyebrows, “show me the fingers you fucked yourself with.” He directed. I held my hand up and he eyed the slick that covered them.   
“Open your mouth and suck them.” He said. I did as he said opening my mouth much wider than necessary. I let my tongue hang out of my mouth my breath coming in pants as I fed myself my fingers with a moan. He pushed into me eyes focused on my lips as I sucked my fingers.   
“Fuck, your such a dirty girl.” He groaned, “you like being my dirty girl?” He asked. I nodded my mouth occupied. I moaned as he snapped his hips into me. The pace causing my sensitive opening to clench rhythmically.   
“You gonna cum again already?” He asked teasingly. I whimpered, I pulled my fingers free, “it’s good.” I moaned. He nodded lowering his head to lick at my lips. My legs locked around his waist. For a moment it felt like time stopped. Like my body was stuck right on the edge. I pushed my head back into the mattress exposing my neck. He licked down my neck stopping just short of my shoulder and biting down hard. I arched up into him a sea of curses tumbled from my lips as my body locked down around him. He kissed the bite licking and sucking my skin while he rode me through my second organsm.   
“Please…” I whispered.   
“Hmmmmmm?” He asked still pumping into me. I scratched at his back and wriggled my hips, “please Yongguk, please cum.” I begged. He tucked his head into the crook of my neck. His hips were beginning to stutter. I fought through the fog in my mind.  
“Please please please please...I’m gonna break Gukkie.” I whined he groaned deepening his thrusts. Mouth latched onto my skin he mindlessly nipped and licked. I thought I would break in half, the pressure was too intense, my body was tightening all over again. I listened to him pant in my ear.   
“Fuck,” he moaned into my neck and then I felt him begin to fill me. He pushed lazily body jerking and shuddering until he went still. The room was quiet except for the rain pounding outside. Eventually he rolled off of me his chest heaving. I groaned at the action, I could already feel the soreness laying itself into my body. His hand came to rest on my stomach, “I’m sorry baby.” He said quietly.   
“For what?” I huffed out.   
“I was too rough...I got carried away. When I get my breath back I’m going to run you a bath.” He told me. I smiled at the ceiling my eyes drifting closed.   
“I’m gonna be sore…” I whined. His hand rubbed at my tummy lovingly.   
“I’m sorry, I’m addicted to you...like I said I got way too carried away.” He babbled.   
“I’m not mad…” I said. I rolled closer to him so I was close to his ear, “you know I like it when you hurt me good.”   
He shook his head biting his bottom lip.   
“Don’t talk like that.” He warned. I giggled but settled against him.  
His arms came around me pulling me close so I could tuck my face into his neck. I felt him relax instantly.  
“We’ll sleep for just a little bit then take a bath. Also you need groceries.” He whispered. I didn’t answer. My eyes were drifting. The rain pounding against my window began to send me to sleep. I sighed into his skin and sunk to sleep. 

When I woke up, my bed was empty. The sound of my bathtub filling had me getting up slowly. I was sore but pleasantly so. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and got up. Yongguk was sitting on to side of the tub studying the variety pack of bath bombs my mom had sent me as a moving gift. He picked a blue one and dropped it into the water. When he looked up and saw me he smiled.   
“Look at you…” He said softly. I looked down at myself. There was a batch of bruises on my thighs and across my chest. I could see the bite I had given him on his neck, slowly turning purple. He turned back to the bath and ran his hands through the water. He turned the water off and motioned for me to come closer.   
“Come on I made it nice and hot for you.” He said. He handed me in and I let out a loud groan. I immediately sank neck deep and closed my eyes. He pulled his hands through my hair and hummed to himself.   
“You take such good care of me.” I said. He chuckled, “I said I would be the best boyfriend I could be.” He answered. I tipped my head back and peeled my eyes open. He gazed at me studying my features with soft concentration. He bent down to press his lips softly to mine. He kissed me then pulled away to rub my shoulders.   
“What do you want to do today?” He asked.   
“I don’t care.” I responded with my eyes closed. “Do you have stuff planned, are you gonna go back to the studio?” I asked.   
“No, not today. I need to leave this song for a while.” He said. His voice was soft. I opened my eyes and stared at my bathroom ceiling. His hands left my shoulders and he got up, “we should go shopping, your fridge is a wasteland.” He said with a laugh.   
“I have stuff in my freezer.” I pointed out. He rolled his eyes and stretched his arms over his head, “I don’t come over here for Hungry Man dinners babe.” He said.   
“We should eat at your house then.” I suggested, “do you have fresh food?”   
He was at the sink putting toothpaste on his brush.   
“No. I have to pick up some stuff.” He confessed. He started in on his teeth and I went back to soaking, the soreness was easing a bit which almost made me sad. I liked being reminded of him. I watched his back as he brushed. The muscles under his skin flexing.   
“Bang,” I called softly,   
“Hmmmm?” He turned after spitting the toothpaste into the sink. The hole was threatening me again.   
“Do you love me?” I asked with a voice that didn’t sound like mine. He wiped his hand across his mouth. His brows knitted in confusion. My heart thundered. He walked towards me stopping to kneel next to the tub. He held my face, “are you listening?” He asked. I nodded, cold even though the tub water was still hot.   
“I love you.” He said. Pronouncing the three words with careful clarity. He smiled and kissed me. I sighed into his kiss and felt all the blood returning to the rest of me. He pulled away. It looked like he was was going to walk back to the sink but I caught his hand. He looked down at me eyes soft.   
“I love you too.” I said back. His smile stretched from ear to ear. So bright that I thought it might be lighting up my whole apartment. He walked back to the sink but he still had his smile as he rinsed his toothbrush and set it next to mine back in his cup. I was afraid to think about how perfect everything was. Whenever I felt this good the world seemed to be waiting in the wings to sabotage me. I couldn’t follow that thought process though. It would weigh me down for the rest of the day. I closed my eyes again and thought about what I would buy at the store. Things that I wanted to eat. I really needed to stop worrying about things in the past. Bang wasn’t TJ. 

The supermarket was packed for a rainy day. Bang followed behind me with the shopping cart. He was completely covered in a dark pull over, scarf, and beanie. He had complained about getting sick but we both had to eat. There was chicken in the cart, along with veggies for stir fry, I really wanted a few more lemons for my apartment, and tea.   
“What kind of tea?” I asked while I looked through the boxes on the shelves.   
“You bought a pomegranate one last time that was really good.” He commented slowly. “Something fruity, not that grey stuff.” He added.   
“Hmmmm,” I hummed until I found the box I was looking for. I turned to him box in hand and...over Bang’s shoulder I saw a familiar face. He looked haggard, but it was definitely him. Tj. He must have sensed me staring because he looked up and saw me. I always thought if I saw him again I would dissolve into a puddle of tears. That I would sob and ask why and make a whole scene. Instead when he smiled awkwardly I almost chucked the box of tea in my hand as hard as possible.   
“Hey.” He pronounced getting closer. Bang stood all the way up but kept his hands still firmly on the cart. He looked in between TJ and me, confused.   
“Hey TJ.” I answered. I stepped closer to Bang because the rage wasn’t going away. I needed him to catch me just in case I lunged. He stopped just short of being too close and held out his hand to Yongguk, “Hey I’m an old friend of ______.” He explained. An old friend? I couldn’t believe it. 3 years thrown away just like that. I somehow got madder. Bang didn’t move. He didn’t take his hand off the cart. Just looked down at the hand offered then back up at TJ’s face. He looked back at me, “babe?” His eyes were serious. He was asking my permission, asking me how I wanted him to react. Whatever I said he would do. If I asked him too he would completely ignore him. He would take me and the cart down the aisle without a word. But Bang had a public image he had to keep up. I didn’t want anyone to say that I was a bad influence. I sighed, “be nice.” I whispered. His mouth tightened but he turned back to TJ who had been standing oddly waiting patiently for a handshake. He hadn’t got the hint, about this being the most awkward moment in recent memory.  
“My name is Yongguk. I’m _____’s boyfriend.” His voice was strained. This was as nice as he was going to get.   
“Oh, yeah, I thought I recognized you. Bang Yongguk, the rapper right? I’m actually a fan.” He said. He never once seemed shock that we were dating. All he cared about was meeting Yongguk. Was I that insignificant to him? Here I was constantly rehashing what I had done wrong and he was free and clear. I stood immobile and looked at Bang because I couldn’t face TJ anymore.   
I had never seen Bang look more unimpressed. He was trying not to glare but it wasn’t working. For one thing he was very much taller than my ex. He loomed over him a flat annoyed look to his face. The silence was stretching too long. He was bordering on rude again. Why I cared so much is still anyone’s guess. I nudged him and he sighed, “thanks for your support man, I appreciate it.” He absolutely did not appreciate it and the sentence was so obviously fake but TJ seemed pleased. He glanced at me.  
“I’m glad your doing ok.” He said innocently. I nodded to indicate I had heard him but I refused to speak. I was not going to say the same to him. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He looked rough. Not his usual self. I didn’t let myself wonder if it had to do with missing me. There was no going back. I wanted to go, I felt myself going over everything all over again. The anger was intense. The stupid fucking….  
“Well we got a lot of shopping to do.” Bang was trying to get us out. I looked down and noticed I was gripping his arm with incredible force.   
“Yeah sure, hey ______ it was nice to see you. Seriously.” He said. I opened my mouth to try and come up with an answer. It would have been rude if not for Yongguk, Bang turned the cart and we started to head away from him. He didn’t give me the chance to cause a scene.   
“Are you ok?” He whispered. I didn’t speak. Just kept my head down and tried to walk faster. Because I was going to turn around and run full tilt towards this man. I was going to kick and punch and scream and make him feel how much he hurt me.   
“Hey.” I looked up at. Bang was smiling down at me.   
“We’ll go home and eat then after…” he trailed off his smiling growing. I gave in, leaning on him as we walked   
“After?” I asked.  
“After we’ll go to the gym and you can beat the shit out of the punching bag.” He said brightly. “Cause it feels like you’re gonna snap my arm off.”   
“You’re exaggerating.” I said.   
“I can’t feel my fingers.”   
I rolled my eyes. We bought our groceries. Bang was very vigilant. He kept looking around as we paid and I could only guess that he was watching for TJ. He kept himself close to me and I could sense he was watching for some sort of delayed reaction. He put his hand on my knee as he drove.   
“I didn’t cry…” I said softly. “I didn’t even feel like it.”   
He squeezed my knee but didn’t say anything. The flash of anger was gone too. When I thought of him I did still feel numb. There was still that fear. That it would happen all over again but I had decided to trust Bang. I had too. I didn’t want to go back to being the way I was before. I took a large breath, blowing it out in frustration. At the stop light he leaned over and kissed my cheek, “you wanna talk about it?” He asked.   
“No,” I said. I put my hand over his on my knee. He turned back to the road, “it’s an open invitation, you can always talk about it whenever.” He assured me.   
“Thank you.” I said back to him, “you’re the best.” He smiled wide again moving his hand from my knee to rub at my shoulder and neck.   
“I just want my baby to be happy.” He said. And just like that I was the happiest girl in the world.


End file.
